4/30/14

vampiricshadow.tumblr.com

My Tumblr is a lot less personal than my blog is, mostly because I can't resist reblogging cool/interesting stuff. There is a little bit of sexual/graphic content on there, but not really much I think... just a warning though =3

The reason I stopped seeing my therapist is I just couldn't deal with wasting her time and I was lying to her about a lot so I was just like fuck it I'll deal with this on my own.

4/27/14

I'm considering switching to Tumblr as my primary blogging platform even though I know it's not proper blogging. I'll still follow and comment on people's blogs but I'll put my own thoughts on Tumblr, not here.

4/26/14

fat T_T

4/25/14

The weather is quite lovely recently and the bf knows I love spending time outside when it's like this. He decided to go get coffee with skinny gamer girl.

I should just stop crying and use this time alone to exercise and drink more caffeine than any human should ingest in a week.

4/24/14

@Alice - It won't let me get a follower thing because I don't have a Google+ account, which it won't let me do because I don't want to tell it my name for obvious reasons. Ugh. Apparently "Vampire" isn't a real enough name for then. I can't wait until the Twilight-era kids start having kids...

My bf told me today that he didn't believe that the neighbors would try to hurt me because "the girl is too thin and pretty to ever be violent". Guess who's not eating ever again?

They woke me up at 7am today, after I went to sleep around 1 and was up from about 4-6. So I got like... 4 hours of sleep? I dunno. I'm so tired. I can't stand straight and I'm THIS CLOSE to falling asleep but I've had just enough diet coke to keep me from falling asleep but not enough to keep me awake. Does that make sense?

I met with my therapist today for the last time. I told her everything is wonderful and I'm wonderful and everything's perfect and I'm happy and stress free but I'll totally come back if I need more counseling later on. I won't. She wasn't really helping anyway.

I just want to sleep right now.

4/23/14

I'm really fucking shaken up today. When I was on my way back from my morning class (I always come home after this class on Mondays and Wednesdays because my next class is 4 hours after this one gets out), I was biking (yay bike, exercise, fresh air, BIKE <3) and as I was pulling into the alley I live in (it's not gross, it's a nice paved road, just doesn't have a name so it's an alley), my neighbors were pulling out. The visibility for cars isn't the greatest there so I made sure I was where they could see me, thinking they could stop or at least slow down for a second so we could pass each other safely. Nope. They angled the car towards me and sped up. So I had to quickly veer into a (unpaved, gravely) parking lot to avoid getting hit and I ended up falling off my bike and destroying my (admittedly, already falling apart a bit) favorite pair of boots.

Needless to say, I was in tears when my bf got home because it was just fucking scary that I have to live in the same building as these people and see them every day. I mean, I know we have a mutual hatred for each other, but I didn't think they would actually try to physically harm me, you know? Sadly, I have no proof (unless someone who lives on the alley was looking out their window, which is unlikely since it was the middle of the morning on a weekday) and there's really nothing I can do.

I'm so scared of them right now.

4/22/14

sleeping puppy <3

most delicious yogurt ever <3

apple! <3

candles and incense <3

I dye my hair too much,...

puppy on her second birthday <3

4/21/14

I ended up skipping my Chinese class today. Oops. On the other hand, I've been using Pandora again and discovered I actually like Nightwish ^_^

4/20/14

I have no idea what to say. I need more blogs to follow.

4/19/14

I have two papers due this Friday. Woot. I've barely started one of them. T_T

It's finally warming up outside. <3 It got up to 20 degrees this week! <3

4/18/14

@Bella - yeah it was beautiful <3 And WARM. Oh my God <3

So there's this song that apparently China did when they hosted the Olympics. It's called "Beijing Huan Ying Ni" (Beijing Welcomes You). Total propaganda thing. But it legitimately hurts how PERFECT Asians always seem. I mean, I'm sure they're human and have their flaws (I hope T_T), but they always seem so put together. Like my Chinese teacher. She's just a normal Chinese person but she's still perfect. Ugh.

We have to sing this song (the one mentioned ^) in class on Monday. Solo. I'm fucked. I do not sing. I do not sing in private. I do not sing in public. I am terrified of singing. I'm fucked. T_T I dunno what to do.

German's a really interesting language to learn btw. XD

4/17/14

being fat (and yay brightly colored hair <3)

more of me being fat

view from my room at the resort I went to for spring break (like a month ago)

nutritious weekend breakfast ^_^

my lovely tea blend <3 catnip, gunpowder green tea, orange, lemon ginger

4/16/14

I was planning to sleep in today because my 9:30 class was cancelled (prof had conference she had to go to). I woke up at 5am and didn't get back to sleep.

In other news, my neighbors said they're moving at the beginning of next month. YAY!

4/15/14

I've stopped keeping food down.

Oops.

4/13/14

I've officially declared Chinese as my minor. Woot. I mean, I'm only halfway done with the requirements for it so I guess it's about time. XD

It's raining and windy and cold today. But hopefully that means walking to class burns a few more calories. <3

4/13/14

Both of those PostSecrets describe me so well it's a little ridiculous XD

Ugh lunch at my mother's today. I'm a bit concerned. I think my blood may be more green tea that blood at this point. But green tea is really good for you, right? I drink actual green tea, not that sugar-y bottled crap.

4/12/14

Today was wonderful. I had an airhead, 2 cups of green tea, and a cup of coffee and it's 7pm. Also walked literally all over town (it's a small town) and spent an hour working on a study we're doing for one of my psych classes. My group members are really cool so it was fun. ^_^ Also the walk there was like 25 mins. I biked home though. Haven't biked in ages so it felt amazing. <3

Also I rearranged the bedroom and living room in my apartment last night/today and I'm probably going to do the kitchen later today. It's a great workout and the change of environment is doing wonders for my anxiety (though in all fairness, that might be the fresh air and sunshine too <3)

4/11/14

I went to the appointment yesterday. Except I threw up right before. Oh well. She said she's referring me to a psychiatrist because I've tried every coping method she could think of so medication was probably the only option I had left, though we both agreed that it would be better if the medication was only a temporary thing.

I also skipped all my classes today. I have no idea why.

4/10/14

I convinced her to get me a referral to a psychiatrist so I could get on medication. I plan for it to be temporary. I just can't deal with this anymore so I'm going to get a little help until they're gone.

I twisted my ankle yesterday and it hurts like a bitch to walk on it. Oh well. And it was windy as fuck today. Like people were having issues walking. I'm sure I burned more calories walking against the wind on the way home.

4/9/14

Thank you, Bella <3

I saw Frozen the other day. It was just as wonderful as everyone said it would be. <3