My back is covered in long, thin cuts. It feels lovely. Bf and I spent like all day today having sex. It's nice being in a relationship where you can trust your SO to hurt you so deliciously and then take such wonderful care of you afterwards. (It's easier for me to handle pain when I'm not the one inflicting it on myself so I asked the bf to wash my back for me and he immediately dropped the game he was playing with his friends and went and helped and made sure he was being gentle enough ^_^)
Also bf made super yummy cabbage soup (cabbage, tomato, onion) tonight for dinner. Squee.
I've had half a cup of white rice today (half cup uncooked, no idea how much it was cooked). May or may not eat a little more tonight. Also playing D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) with a few friends as soon as they get here. Woot.
Bf and I's relationship is getting better. He hasn't threatened to call the cops to put me into a mental hospital in about half a week. Improvement!
Today we went over to a friend's place for Thanksgiving. It was fairly casual except it was a Christian household and some of us weren't Christian and this one girl like ate a cookie and some lady started flipping out on her because they hadn't prayed yet. And they had Harry Potter (4th movie) on and this guy was all "Harry Potter is so stupid. Broomsticks don't fly and dragons aren't real." And I'm like... yeah but invisible superheros in the sky ARE real? Okayy. Thankfully almost everyone, including the other Christians, told him he was being stupid and HP is actually quite fun. =) Oh if he only saw the Tumblr fandoms... Ahaha.
Bf dished me a plate of some baked corn bread/cake stuff and green bean casserole and homemade peach Schnapps cheesecake. I pushed the food around on my plate and convinced him I'd eaten a 4th of it and was stuffed. Haha. =) Victory!
I had a small plate of pasta (with sauce and bell pepper WTF) and a muffin (lemon poppyseed) today. Good god I'm disgusting.
On the positive side, I've been crazy thirsty recently, so I've been drinking loads of water, which is good, since I normally have only a glass or two a day (I've been like that since I was a kid, it's a bad habit). Now I have like 4-6 glasses a day. Yay <3
I just got a ton of grapefruit (mom needed to get rid of her food cause she's leaving the country tomorrow... why she doesn't just buy less is beyond me XD but then, I'm not complaining about the loads of fruits and veggies <3) and since the bf doesn't like it, I'm thinking a grapefruit a day + loads of water and tea. It sounds so lovely and perfect. <3
@tracy I'm not an actress. Skits are a required part of the curriculum in foreign language classes at my university (and at most others, it seems, judging from the people I've talked to).
I just went crazy and completely cleaned my apartment. >_< And did all my psych and sociology homework for next week. And started my Chinese homework. It was funny... for psych, we had to read a short essay written by someone with borderline personality disorder. Like, they were talking about what it's like living with it. The next essay (my teacher scans these short essays and posts them on Canvas - the site my university uses to communicate with students - so you see what the next essay in the book is and stuff like that... does that make sense?) was an excerpt from Loud in the House of Myself by Stacy Pershall, which is a book I'd read a month or two ago on my own. >_< It wasn't very good, but I feel awkward realizing that I read books "for fun" that are used in educating people about mental disorders. XD
The Chinese skit went well today. The whole class laughed =) Which is good, as it was meant to be a comedy and we thought it was absolutely hilarious.
The downstairs neighbors have been bitching at us because our dog barked a little today when I got home and like, kinda collapsed and couldn't move cause I was just so fucking tired. I had some fairytale (with extra peppermint <3) tea and knitted some (dear god I sound like a grandmother or something) so I feel better now. =)
I have to do a skit tomorrow in my Chinese class and I just started my period. Someone up there must really hate me. >_< Performing in public scares me!
Also my neighbors cooked something that smells like sick dog diarrhea. No joke. Their kitchen is right under our bedroom so whenever they cook something gross-smelling, it comes up to us. Thankfully, it absolutely destroys my appetite. =)
No class today because it's a national holiday =) we went grocery shopping and got horrible high-calorie food like pasta and rice and poptarts and doughnuts. I'm sticking to black coffee and tea today <3
Three day weekend =) That's about the only good thing in my life.
I was going through a folder of old pictures I had saved and most of them were the kind of stuff I post now - stuff I steal off the internet because I think it's funny or applicable or whatever. But a few of the pictures were ones I took of myself when I was thin and throwing up multiple times a day.
Sadly I can't throw up anymore (for the moment at least) because I don't want my healing gums to get infected (they're not fully closed up yet) but I can restrict like I used to.
We were talking about borderline personality disorder in my abnormal psych class yesterday. Everything they said about the symptoms and stuff sounded exactly like me. =/ But then, during the schizophrenia unit I thought I was schizophrenic for a few days cause I was having some really weird delusions (probably caused by the super strong pain medication XD) so this will probably pass too. I know there's some syndrome or something that medical and psychology students get where they are convinced they have the diseases/disorders they're studying and it's usually temporary as far as I know...
On the other hand, even though I'm not in pain anymore and the swelling is like, 97% gone, I'm having issues getting rid of my percocet and tylenol (with codeine, just a prescription slip, haven't filled it, but the bf says it causes hallucinations cause he was on it at the hospital when he was younger)... sigh. I'm telling myself I'm only keeping the stuff until I'm all healed up so I know I won't need it anymore. That's reasonable, right?
I will never again make the mistake of looking at my stitched up gums though. Dear fucking god. >_< all I've been able to stomach is tea and jelly beans and coffee since then.