The title of this blog is from the book Blood Beast (Book 5 of the Demonata series). I take no credit for it. ^_^

Saturday, November 30, 2013


My back is covered in long, thin cuts. It feels lovely. Bf and I spent like all day today having sex. It's nice being in a relationship where you can trust your SO to hurt you so deliciously and then take such wonderful care of you afterwards. (It's easier for me to handle pain when I'm not the one inflicting it on myself so I asked the bf to wash my back for me and he immediately dropped the game he was playing with his friends and went and helped and made sure he was being gentle enough ^_^)

Also bf made super yummy cabbage soup (cabbage, tomato, onion) tonight for dinner. Squee.

2 more weeks of classes left!!!

Friday, November 29, 2013


I've had half a cup of white rice today (half cup uncooked, no idea how much it was cooked). May or may not eat a little more tonight. Also playing D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) with a few friends as soon as they get here. Woot.

Thursday, November 28, 2013


Bf and I's relationship is getting better. He hasn't threatened to call the cops to put me into a mental hospital in about half a week. Improvement!

Today we went over to a friend's place for Thanksgiving. It was fairly casual except it was a Christian household and some of us weren't Christian and this one girl like ate a cookie and some lady started flipping out on her because they hadn't prayed yet. And they had Harry Potter (4th movie) on and this guy was all "Harry Potter is so stupid. Broomsticks don't fly and dragons aren't real." And I'm  like... yeah but invisible superheros in the sky ARE real? Okayy. Thankfully almost everyone, including the other Christians, told him he was being stupid and HP is actually quite fun. =) Oh if he only saw the Tumblr fandoms... Ahaha.

Bf dished me a plate of some baked corn bread/cake stuff and green bean casserole and homemade peach Schnapps cheesecake. I pushed the food around on my plate and convinced him I'd eaten a 4th of it and was stuffed. Haha. =) Victory!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013


My dogs anti-flea pills smell terrible. We give her two each day and they're chewable and she loves them but they leave a terrible smell on your fingers. Ugh.

I'm reading Inferno by Dan Brown. It's really good so far. <3

(Stolen from PostSecret)

Tuesday, November 26, 2013


(Annie cosplay from League of Legends... I take no credit for this!)

@Bella thanks! You do too <3

/Break has officially started. Fuck yes.

Sunday, November 24, 2013


Ooo Bella thanks for telling me that, I'll definitely have to check out that app <3

I did absolutely nothing productive yesterday besides watching the first MIB movie. I plan to play Skyrim today and write a paper or two.

Obviously I'm doing a lot of work.

The bf is making brownies so the whole place smells like chocolate. =)

Friday, November 22, 2013


I've decided to post my daily intake on Tumblr since it's more smartphone-friendly than Blogger seems to be (am I missing something?) and I don't have to get on my computer to post.

Today I've had a muffin and an apple and 4 glasses of water. Need to eat less, but the water intake made me happy, though I'll probably have more before I go to bed.


Thursday, November 21, 2013


I had a small plate of pasta (with sauce and bell pepper WTF) and a muffin (lemon poppyseed) today. Good god I'm disgusting.

On the positive side, I've been crazy thirsty recently, so I've been drinking loads of water, which is good, since I normally have only a glass or two a day (I've been like that since I was a kid, it's a bad habit). Now I have like 4-6 glasses a day. Yay <3

Wednesday, November 20, 2013


I just got a ton of grapefruit (mom needed to get rid of her food cause she's leaving the country tomorrow... why she doesn't just buy less is beyond me XD but then, I'm not complaining about the loads of fruits and veggies <3) and since the bf doesn't like it, I'm thinking a grapefruit a day + loads of water and tea. It sounds so lovely and perfect. <3

Tuesday, November 19, 2013


Bella - sadly, we don't have to read the book, or any part of it, for this class. XD

Cleaning is actually quite fun if you have epic dragon fighting music (from Skyrim - great game btw) playing in the background <3 I WILL EPICLY DEFEAT THESE DISHES!

Sunday, November 17, 2013


@tracy I'm not an actress. Skits are a required part of the curriculum in foreign language classes at my university (and at most others, it seems, judging from the people I've talked to).

I just went crazy and completely cleaned my apartment. >_< And did all my psych and sociology homework for next week. And started my Chinese homework. It was funny... for psych, we had to read a short essay written by someone with borderline personality disorder. Like, they were talking about what it's like living with it. The next essay (my teacher scans these short essays and posts them on Canvas - the site my university uses to communicate with students - so you see what the next essay in the book is and stuff like that... does that make sense?) was an excerpt from Loud in the House of Myself by Stacy Pershall, which is a book I'd read a month or two ago on my own. >_< It wasn't very good, but I feel awkward realizing that I read books "for fun" that are used in educating people about mental disorders. XD

Dinner at my mom's tonight. Oh God.

Friday, November 15, 2013


The Chinese skit went well today. The whole class laughed =) Which is good, as it was meant to be a comedy and we thought it was absolutely hilarious.

The downstairs neighbors have been bitching at us because our dog barked a little today when I got home and like, kinda collapsed and couldn't move cause I was just so fucking tired. I had some fairytale (with extra peppermint <3) tea and knitted some (dear god I sound like a grandmother or something) so I feel better now. =)

Thursday, November 14, 2013


Thank you, tracy <3

I have to do a skit tomorrow in my Chinese class and I just started my period. Someone up there must really hate me. >_< Performing in public scares me!

Also my neighbors cooked something that smells like sick dog diarrhea. No joke. Their kitchen is right under our bedroom so whenever they cook something gross-smelling, it comes up to us. Thankfully, it absolutely destroys my appetite. =)

Monday, November 11, 2013


No class today because it's a national holiday =) we went grocery shopping and got horrible high-calorie food like pasta and rice and poptarts and doughnuts. I'm sticking to black coffee and tea today <3

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Friday, November 8, 2013


Three day weekend =) That's about the only good thing in my life.

I was going through a folder of old pictures I had saved and most of them were the kind of stuff I post now - stuff I steal off the internet because I think it's funny or applicable or whatever. But a few of the pictures were ones I took of myself when I was thin and throwing up multiple times a day.

Sadly I can't throw up anymore (for the moment at least) because I don't want my healing gums to get infected (they're not fully closed up yet) but I can restrict like I used to.


Thursday, November 7, 2013


I'm writing a paper on schizoaffective disorder for my abnormal psych class. It's basically schizophrenia mixed with bipolar I think.

Exciting, huh?

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


I was on Tumblr earlier today and one of the people I follow reblogged something about how wonderful it is to be a submissive and it made me depressed as fuck.


Tuesday, November 5, 2013


Thank you for the lovely comments <3

We were talking about borderline personality disorder in my abnormal psych class yesterday. Everything they said about the symptoms and stuff sounded exactly like me. =/ But then, during the schizophrenia unit I thought I was schizophrenic for a few days cause I was having some really weird delusions (probably caused by the super strong pain medication XD) so this will probably pass too. I know there's some syndrome or something that medical and psychology students get where they are convinced they have the diseases/disorders they're studying and it's usually temporary as far as I know...

On the other hand, even though I'm not in pain anymore and the swelling is like, 97% gone, I'm having issues getting rid of my percocet and tylenol (with codeine, just a prescription slip, haven't filled it, but the bf says it causes hallucinations cause he was on it at the hospital when he was younger)... sigh. I'm telling myself I'm only keeping the stuff until I'm all healed up so I know I won't need it anymore. That's reasonable, right?

I will never again make the mistake of looking at my stitched up gums though. Dear fucking god. >_< all I've been able to stomach is tea and jelly beans and coffee since then.

Monday, November 4, 2013


I'm finally off the penicillin. Thank God. The stuff smells awful and I had to take 4 pills a day. And that was just the penicillin. So... yeah. XD

Still fat as fuck though.